pure bliss. am i in heaven already? *looks at macadamia white crunch cookie* oh yeah, i sure think i am.

*looks down at my body with curves all at the wrong places* hmmm, maybe not yet. i'm still stuck here on earth.

LOL!!!!

i think i'm funnay and my jokes are funnay. you can disagree with me all you want but that doesnt make me think less of my funny self. LOL!

narcissist at its best. :)

God must have given mothers special strength and energy!
amazing job moms! :)

what a hypocrite?

yucks! hypocrisy totally puts me off. *barfs*
stop being someone you're not, just so you could fit in!
be yourself cos it's becoming really disgusting.
nuff said. :)

acting wisely

i strongly believe, that in life, there are certain things that need to be said, and certain things that should never be said. some things are better off shared, for the good of others, while others should never be shared even if it feels like the right thing to do at that point of time, because someday, all of it could be used against you.

"Everything is permissible" —but not everything is beneficial.
"Everything is permissible" —but not everything is constructive.
Nobody should seek his own good, but the good of others.
(1 Cor 10:23)

nuff said. time to stop talking. :)

dear hair,

pls dont play tricks with me this time of the year, every year.
no more stickiness, no more clumping, just stay healthy and clean and silky please?
you make me so edgy everytime i finish my shower, it's like revealing a magic trick and seeing if my hair's all sticky again. :/
let's make a deal, u stay good, and i'll be nice to you too! :)

love,
licia

tipping the scale

the ridiculous amount of weight i've piled on over the past few days is seriously not funny. :/
but i cant control that sweeth tooth of mine. and what is a girl to do when she gets all these random cravings of everything that's kilo-friendly?
my willpower on this isnt strong enough. argh!

stop hurting yourself, my friend.

don't change yourself just so you could fit in. because it's simply not worth it. along the way, you would end up losing yourself. be yourself, embrace the uniqueness of variation. take it from me, please.

love that abides

i've got this inner peace deep within me, which i can't explain in words.
an unspeakable joy with an outburst of hope.
God You're so amazing.

on another note, my work's piling up to a seriously overwhelming degree due to my lack of diligence. hahaha.

toodles. much love. <3

The betrayal by the Iscariot

As i partook the Lord's Supper earlier and am being reminded once again of God's great love for mankind, and the many sacrifices that He has made, and of Christ' death on the cross that i may be saved from sin's wrath and spend eternity with Him, i am feeling rather overwhelmed about the betrayal of Jesus by Judas the Iscariot.

would i have done the same rebukable act if i had been in iscariot's shoes? i sometimes wonder. would the world have enticed me and made me lose my footing? would i have betrayed christ's love for some 30 pieces of silver? even as i continue writing, i must say that there have been many things i've done and said in the past which are not things that i am particularly proud of. in fact, i'm ashamed of them.

why must the Son of God then be delivered into the hands of the betrayer, and be put to death, death on the cross, to die a painful humiliating death? it is to fulfill the sovereign Will of God. God has His plans and purposes and ultimately, everything is done for His glory. if Christ did not die on the cross, today, i'd be believing in vain. if Christ did not die on the cross, there would be no resurrection from the dead. if there was no resurrection, there is no power over evil and sin. and if there isn't power, i'd be living a life of eternal condemnation.

judas was one of the chosen twelve. lived as one of them, part of them. imagine the hurt and agony of being betrayed by one whom you considered part of you? ever wondered? it'd hurt right to the core, i believe.

and i also believe that betrayal from within hurts a lot more than betrayal from the outside. you'll feel like there's no more hope, and the circle of trust has been broken and severed.

yet at times, like the betrayal by judas, all these are necessary that the glory of God may be revealed through a character that perseveres and does the Will of God.

God bless!
toodles.

tweedledee, tweedledum

deelahmoooon :)

i used to be so wise...

an excerpt from june 20th, 2008:

WORDS OF ADVICE:
we may not understand why certain things/events happened the way it happens, at least not now, but if we learn to trust in God and to have faith in Him, claiming in His promise that "God never leaves us, nor forsake us"...we will see why He has allowed all these things to happen, and it's all for our own good. for "His ways are better than ours, and His thoughts higher than ours". and "in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who has been called according to His purposes". Amen!

i'm impressed! XD

outburst of hope

i see the need to pen down some thoughts tonight, for memories sake.

--

the year 2010 started on a good note. i'd the awesome-st time anyone could possibly have while i was away for nearly a month, vacationing in aussie and singapore. i wouldnt say life was a bed of roses, cos there were also some hilly moments with some ups and downs. but it was a refreshing experience for me. i thank God for that break, cos i really really needed one badly then and i thank God for ppl who made that trip possible.

i felt rejuvenated after returning home, with new insights with new hopes with new visions. it was good. i decided my stand, and told myself that 2010 will never be a repeat of 2009 again. and i re-committed my life to God. i want His will to be done, not mine, never mine.

--

the death of a friend's dad made me rethink my decisions and my purpose in life. it threw me into a whirlpool of thoughts and i must say i was deeply troubled. still am, today. i questioned myself on the decisions that i've made. "is this really what i want?" kept bugging me. life is short and fragile, and it made me questioned myself as to how much i really really wanted to do this?

to further complicate matters, ppl twisted and turned my words and made me look like an utter fool. of course, i was a fool to have trusted them in the very first place, but it's just very typical of me to trust others easily. i dont like to keep everything within me for the fear that i would explode someday.

apart from all these, i'm still having the time of my life and enjoying the liberty 4pm classes have to offer. i have the liberty to do what i long to do, to meet up and catch up with old friends (something that i've neglected for quite some time) and most importantly, enjoying the presence of family. :)

i cant bear the thought of "losing" my bro when he leaves for his studies. i really cant. i reckon i'd cry buckets. as annoying as he is, i'd miss him so badly i think i'd become a panda. talking about it makes me so emotional.

--

i got this in my email today. how can anyone say this is mere coincidence?
the ultimate Will of God.

"As we encounter difficulties in life, it will help us toremember the big picture. First, God is our Father and has awonderful eternal plan for us. We are His children and He lovesus. Second, this time is but a training period for our futurelife with God. We are supposed to be learning to trust God andto obey Him. So, every problem we ever face is an opportunity to walk infaith and please God. Every problem is an opportunity toovercome with God's help. How can we expect to receive theblessings promised to the overcomer if we never have anythingto overcome?"

and i read this during my quiet time this morning:

"When we experience tragedy, we may wonder about God’s goodness. Is God always good? Yes, He is. He doesn’t promise that bad things will never happen to us, but He does promise to be “our refuge and strength” (Ps. 46:1). He doesn’t promise that we will never walk through heart-wrenching circumstances, but He promises that we won’t be alone (23:4).

God is good—no matter what suffering we are experiencing. Even when we don’t understand, we can say with Habakkuk, “Yet will I rejoice in the Lord, I will joy in the God of my salvation” (3:18)."

definitely not a coincidence. God spoke to me. :)
it's true, God never promised a life full of beds of roses. but He promised never to leave us nor to forsake us. and i claim upon that promise.

i shall be strong for the joy of the Lord is my source of strength.
poeple can say anything they want, do whatever they want, but i shall remain strong.
it doesnt matter how twisted things can be....but i always believe that truth will prevail. someday, somehow, everything will make sense.

i've made my decision, there's no more turning back.

sings, "i have decided to follow Jesus, no turning back, no turning back".

what's left now is to make that decision....that VERY important one, pertaining to my future. to continue or not? O Lord, i surrender myself to You!

~licia with an outburst of hope~

the dawn of a new beginning

BLESSED NEW YEAR TO ALL!
may the new year bring more love, joy and peace to all of you! <3

2009 flew by so quickly. it's really scary, coming to think of it.

i've decided to re-activate my blog for the time being, especially since i'll be away, soon. and keeping a lil journal of what happens when i'm away is like memoribilia to me. so privacy settings have been changed to "open for all" :)
i guess, there'll be more updates on what's happening when i'm away for 3 weeks, than when i'm around for an entire year. haha!

--

a quick reminisence of 2009.

2009 started on a dull and sad note due to the demise of a dear friend's mom.
it picked up a bit towards feb 09, when uni started again.
honestly, i cant even remember what happened in the entire month of january.
oh wait, there were lots of late nights, lots of gossip girls and lots of kk-klang-kk-kuantan facebook correspondence *winks* until it got a lil too edgy. XD
maybe this jan it'd be kk-klang-kuantan-sydney correspondence?

i received my first bouquet of flowers on valentine's. i kept and dried them for months, and only recently threw them out because dad kept complaining there was an unsightly smell coming from my washroom. lol.

relatives came to visit, which is always a pleasant happy thing for me. :)
but that only gives me temporal joy, cos i dislike separation and farewells. but that's just part of life - a time to meet, a time to scatter.

life became overwhelming shortly after that and it has been a real rollercoaster ride ever since, in all aspects of my life.

i feel like the span of a year in my life has been reduced to the span of each sememster. in other words, i've completed 2 semesters this year, and it feels like two years have quickly passed. each semester had its own set of challenges, tears and joy. if i told you med school is easy peasy, that would be a BiG lie! it hasnt been easy, but God has been my constant tower of refuge, my ever-present help in trouble.

with all said and done, i'm grateful to the Lord for seeing me through all the challenges, difficulties and trials that i've gone through over the past year. it is only by His grace that i am who i am today and with a heart full of thanksgiving, i bid the old year farewell and welcome the new year 2010 with faith and trust that God will continue to provide and to guide.

the past year have changed me into a licia i dont quite recognise anymore. perhaps it would be good to take these couple of months to ponder and to reflect upon my life, and to re-discover myself. but that doesnt mean all changes are bad. :)

p/s: i miss you!

love, licia